


Maybe Eating That Chocolate Is A Bad Idea. Just A Thought.

by ckret2



Category: Carnage (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Venom (Comics)
Genre: Canon-Typical Cannibalism, Carnage tricks himself into being less of a douchebag than usual, Crack, Gen, Mild Gore, Symbiote Family Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22638445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckret2/pseuds/ckret2
Summary: Carnage has escaped and is seeking out Venom, for a reason thatyou'd never guess!Actually, not being able to guess it is kind of the whole point.
Relationships: Carnage Symbiote & Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Eddie Brock & Cletus Kasady
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35
Collections: SYMBRUARY





	Maybe Eating That Chocolate Is A Bad Idea. Just A Thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [@symbruary](symbruary.tumblr.com) Day 9: "family." I was like there are a million things I could do with either symby's hundred kids or else its extended human family through Eddie but to do ANY of them I'd have to reread a lot of comics featuring the other characters first and today I'm tired. Or I could do the extended friend-family they adopt at the end of the Costa run but like I already wrote about Dr. Steve yesterday. So I went for the funny option instead.

Cletus Kasady had escaped the first Monday in May, ruining what had been an otherwise lovely spring day. Now it was Sunday, and he'd laid surprisingly low. 

Except for a few disturbing messages. 

A bank lobby near the point he'd broken out with "I'M COMING FOR YOU..." spelled on the floor in blood, and a crude drawing of a spider that could easily refer to either Spider-Man's logo or Venom's. 

The question was settled on Wednesday, when police responded to an attack at the Daily Globe—Eddie Brock's former employer. Carnage fled before they arrived, but not before leaving three dead, eight injured, and a second bloody message: "SEE YOU SO". They assumed he meant to write "soon" but ran out of time before he had to run. 

Which begged the question: why had he run? 

Carnage wasn't usually the type to run from police when he could just as easily slaughter them. It suggested he was planning something big and needed to ensure he wasn't caught or interrupted before he pulled it off—which was also wildly out of character. They had no predictions for what he'd do next, except that it was probably going to be whatever he thought everyone was least likely to predict. 

On Friday came another message, written on the outside wall of the prison Cletus had once been locked in with Eddie: "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" 

On Sunday, Venom got tired of waiting. 

" _Where are you?!_ " they bellowed, standing on top of the Daily Globe's roof. (The building was hastily evacuated.) "We're not playing your game! Come out and face us!" 

It took fifteen minutes of taunts before Carnage showed up. 

"You've rushed us," they said, pouting. "Now we're a few hours ahead of schedule." 

"Since when do _you_ operate on schedules, you monster?" 

Carnage spread their arms wide. "Since we realized what an important day today is!" 

Venom tried to remember if the day was a notable anniversary—someone's birthday? Someone's deathday? The day Eddie and Cletus were put in the same cell?—and came up blank. "We don't care what you think today is—and we don't have any interest in whatever 'surprise' you have in store, Kasady! Only in taking you down!" 

"Oh, the surprise isn't from _me._ The little lady's got something she wants to give you." Carnage thrust out an arm. " _Here!_ " 

Venom's fang quantity doubled before they realized Carnage was just holding out a simple red envelope and a small box. Oh. They warily observed the offerings, sure they were some sort of trap; but if they were actively toxic, Carnage wouldn't be able to hold them either. They took the two objects. 

"Box first," Carnage said cheerfully. 

"Shut up," Venom said, and opened the envelope. 

"I knew you'd do that." 

They hissed at Carnage, spraying green spittle, and studied the contents of the envelope. It was a card. A Mother's Day card. An extremely glittery Mother's Day card. It was signed by a vague red squiggle. 

"Oh," Venom said, surprised straight out of their wariness. "Oh, that's very—Thank you. That's... sweet." 

"Do you like the card?" Carnage asked, rubbing their hands together in unbridled glee. "We picked the one with the most glitter we could find. And then we added some more glitter." 

"Hm." Venom observed their hand, now coated in little red sparkles. 

"We hope it irritates you for months." 

"Did you escape just to annoy us with glitter?" 

"No! That was a bonus," Carnage said, sounding almost affronted. "We're really here to give your other Mother's Day gifts." 

Gifts. Right. There was still another one. They examined the box—it was small and heart-shaped. Chocolates? They opened it, and managed to drool in hunger and grimace in disgust at the same time. " _Oh._ " 

"The missus and me couldn't agree on whether to go with chocolate or brains, but then we thought, why not both?!" 

"You shouldn't have." 

"Oh, it was no trouble!" 

"No, we mean this is a thing you should not have done." Venom lowered the box. "Carnage, _why_ are you giving us Mother's Day gifts? Your other hates my other." 

"True," Carnage said, " _but!_ We had a realization during our latest containment." 

"That you're a horrible person made up of two more horrible people and you want to begin to change your wicked ways?" Venom asked hopefully. 

"No! We realized we're _predictable!_ Here we are, an agent of anarchy, a knight of nihilism, and yet we never do anything random! We always go on murder sprees! How can we claim to be unpredictable if everyone knows we're going to go on a murder spree?" They gestured at Venom's card and candy. "So we thought, what would _really_ prove ya never know just what we're gonna do next? Honoring my other's mother." 

Venom blinked. "Huh." They surveyed the gifts again. "You still went on a murder spree, though." 

"What? No, we—Oh, damn. I suppose we did." They crossed their arms, sulking. 

"But it was a good effort," Venom said. "Maybe next time you escape, you'll shock us all and not kill anyone." 

"Do you really think so?" 

Venom considered that a moment, Eddie and the symbiote having a quick mental conference about how best to reverse psychology Carnage into pretending to be a decent member of society. "No," Venom said carefully. "We don't think there's a chance you could escape without killing people." 

Carnage's face lit up with determination. 

"Anyway, uh... thanks. This is... sweet of you." The symbiote reasoned, quite persuasively, that there was no putting the brain back in its owner's head now, and it would be a disservice to the poor innocent's memory to let their brain go to waste. Venom delicately plucked up a squishy chunk and popped it in their mouth. Mm. They should've tried chocolate with brains sooner. 

Carnage looked around, as if not quite sure what to do now. "Anyway," they said, "as long as I'm already here, do you wanna...?" They raised their fists, pantomiming boxing. 

"Oh! Yeah, of course." Venom tossed back the rest of the candy, stuck the card under their skin, and launched fangs first at Carnage.

**Author's Note:**

> Original post available on [tumblr](https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/190740888777/maybe-eating-that-chocolate-is-a-bad-idea-just-a). Comments/reblogs there are very welcome (as are comments here)!


End file.
